No Questions Asked

Last night after saying our prayers Ezra asked me if GOD was a person. I tried to explain this the best I could to my 3 year old, hoping to not confuse him. He asked no question after that. He just took what i said and believed it. That got me thinking of that verse that talks about having faith like  a child. God wants me to believe HIM when HE  speaks. No questions asked. i need to have more faith like my child.Take God's Word for what it is. TRUTH.

In the midst

You know the saying if your not going through a trial now, just wait, because its coming. Not long ago I was there. We weren't going through anything major and life was going great.Then i got my feet pulled out from under me. Who knows why GOD allows trials in our lives.Just because GOD is perfect and I am HIS child doesn't mean my life comes without tribulation. I have alot of question that will never get answered. My heart still hurts and aches but I know GOD has a plan.Jeremiah 29:11 says He knows the plans He has for us.... I don't like HIS plans sometimes. That may sound horrible of me to say. And GOD knows I feel that way.But I trust HIS plan. I have to trust HIM. That's the only option for me. GOD knows that we aren't going to like some of things that life throws at us sometimes. But  he does watch how we react to those things. That's what sets us apart from the world. I can sit and ask question after question and never get an answer or i can accept it, trust GOD, and know that HE has a plan for me and my family. In the midst of this trial I will still praise GOD. This life can take alot of things away from us but it can never take my faith, joy, peace and the praise I will give GOD.

Growing

Isaac will be 2 next month. For the first year and a half of his life he was not a great sleeper.He sleeps through the night now occasionally waking up once or twice but goes right back to sleep.But it never fails that he will wake at 545 every morning. So I get up with him give him a sip of something and sit with him in the chair only for him to go back to sleep. And if you try to lay him back down he wakes up crying.This is an every morning thing.I used to get so frustrated. But then my mindset changed. Now i gladly get up with him and hold him for another hour or so until he wakes up. I got to thinking he want always be this way. One day soon hes gonna sleep in his bed and get up on his own and come walking down the hallway all by himself. He will start playing and be too busy for me to just sit and hold him while he sleeps.So now I just take it all in and hold him while he sleeps.I remember the day that Ezra had slept in his big boy bed and he got up all by himself and I seen him walking down the hallway. It was one of those proud but sad moments.It want be like this for long. They grow up so fast. I love when they learn new things but its always tugs at my heart a little. Because learning new things means they are growing more independent. And independence means they don't need me as much. But I will always be their mommy and no matter how old they get they will always be my baby boys.My prayer is that in these tired frustrating and joyful moments I can imitate and teach Gods love to my boys.

Not alot going on

I haven't wrote in a while but i haven't had much to talk about.Just the same ole stuff. Boys keep me busy and on my toes. Ezra is going through a stage where he doesn't really want to mind. We have started a chore chart with him.For some reason Monday is the worst day for him. Its clean the toy room day. The first Monday he spent 3 hours in there and still didn't have it cleaned.You might think that's harsh but he just would not pick up anything. So after i had had all i could take i sent him to his room and cleaned it myself. Today was pretty much same way except Chris was home so he handled it for me. Ezra would rather have the punishment than clean the room. He has done great every other day of week with his chores. Theres just something about cleaning the toy room on Monday. So if anyone has any helpful advice id like to hear it.Ezra also just went to his first bama game with me and grandparents. He did really well.
Isaac has been doing great. As of  3 weeks ago he no longer takes a pacy. He has learned how to climb up and off couch all by himself. He is communicating a little more.He is a pretty happy boy for the most part.
Chris just got back from Maryland. He went up to work after Hurricane Irene.
I am currently still sore from my broke nose but alot better than i was a couple of weeks ago.
I broke it when we were in Nashville at backyard bible club. A couple of kids were hitting a bocce ball with a tennis racket and i got smacked right between the eyes. my knees buckled and i about passed out. I ended up with a concussion and broke nose. a few days later had to have surgery to straighten it out. There was a couple of days that i couldn't remember anything. Chris took great care of me.
That's the last month or so in a nutshell. We love summer but we are looking forward to cooler nights and college football.

My one day around the world

Who knew that you could drive 2 hours and experience so many international  cultures in one day. In Nashville TN there are around 1,000 refugees from many different countries living in one apartment complex.We were blessed to be able to meet some of these families.Theres a single mom from Sudan with 5 children, families from Southeast Asia, Nepal and a sweet lady from Iraq.These are the people we got to meet in just a few hours. Our day started off with meeting our friends and having a nice lunch at a Turkish cafe.Anyone who knows me knows that i will try new things but most of the time I do not like what i try. I'm the girl that cant eat shrimp because of the texture.So I'm a little concerned walking in this cafe. I'm hoping they have chicken or a burger at least. But when Igot there I knew I needed to venture out and expand my horizons.lol So I tried felafel's and hummus which are both wonderful. Then I had a gyro sandwich (which is lamb and beef mixed , I think)So far so good on trying knew things.I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
So after lunch we went to international market.(which Ive never been to) As soon as you walk in its the worst smell ever. But I'm very intrigued. Theres all kind of fish laid out in the open for you to grab and go. And so many vegetables from different countries with names I've never heard of before.Maybe I should have "expanded my horizons" more by buying some of these veggies but I did not. I ended up buying some strawberry tarts which I thought would be a safe buy.But they tasted like feet. really.Maybe worse.
Then we bought a watermelon to take to the family we were going to meet and off we were. We knocked on their door and they invited us in. We left our shoes at the door and took a seat on couch.They brought us a diet soda to drink. Now we were already told by a friend that if they offer you a drink or something to eat you have to take it or its disrespectful. We really wanted to befriend these families so we would do whatever we could to not offend them. Were sitting there drinking our soda listening to the family and you can hear some of them chopping away in the kitchen. Not "chopping a cucumber chopping" but maybe more like chopping wood.They had a whole pig in there kitchen floor chopping away and saving every part. So we talk to the family for a while then the mom comes and ask if we want something. I couldnt really understand her and my friend is standing behind her making circles around her belly.I still didn't get it.So Amanda finally translates and says "yes we will try a little bit of pig intestines" Thanks for volunteering us Amamda. I will forever be grateful to you!! lol So she hands us the bowl and I'm praying " LORD if I get it down YOU have to keep it down because I don't want to puck in this family's floor". So  I try cutting it with a spoon but in chirs' words "its like trying to cut a water hose with a spoon" its just not gonna happen. So I bravely take a bite and chew, chew, chew. Then I finally get it down with a sip of my soda.A very long sip of my soda. And these intestines were not cleaned out by the way. So we not only had intestines we had poop and blood to go with it.By GOD answering my prayer we all kept it down. About 8 hours later I finally pucked my guts out. Or better yet the pigs guts out. lol sorry for those of you that have a week stomach. After we ate our "exotic snack" we were able to sit with the daughter and she read the first chapter of Genesis out of her Bible which was written in her native tougne.It was wonderful to sit and listen to her read and try to explain as best as she could in English what it was saying. We bid goodbye to this great family and headed to a neighborhood church for a block party. We got to meet other children and play games with them.
It really is amazing how in one area there are all these different cultures. All them have a different belief than I do.They serve a god or gods. One friend asked me what I learned that day.This is what I learned. Every tribe and every tongue search for a god or gods. They all believe there is something bigger than they are. It is our job and responsibility to point them to the one and only GOD. The ONE who created them and loves them.Another thing I learned is there is a wall between us and other cultures. This may not be for every person but it is true of myself. I was raised where its mostly made up of one culture. I was not raised to be prejudice against any culture. But there is still a wall because its not what I'm used to.I want that wall to be knocked down. I want my family to be culturally diverse and except anyone no matter the race. I'm gonna be honest and say that when I first met that beautiful lady from Iraq my first thoughts were that she had a head dress on and that she was from where the terrorist are from.I was upset with myself because of those thoughts.Because I really don't care what anyone wears or where they are from.And she was beautiful inside and out. And I hope to meet her again soon. One major thing I respect about all these refugees is that they left all they knew to come to America and  make a better life for themselves and there families.Icant wait to meet these families again and get to know more about them and where they are from and what they hope for their future.I thank GOD that Chris and I had the opportunity to do this.And cant wait for our children to go and be a part of something like this.

Thanks be to GOD and GOD alone

I am feeling so joyful this morning.Isaac has made so much progress and GOD has answered so many prayers.Everything came back normal on his brain mri yesterday.We expected to have good news and that is what GOD gave us yesterday.And this morning was Isaac last physical therapy session.I feel like we have reached the end of a long journey.Although he still has progress to make its wonderful to have all the testing behind usand know that it is only going to get better.I sit here with tears in my eyes amazed at all that GOD has done around us and through Isaac.I knew when I was pregnant with him that it wasnt going to be as easy as it was with Ezra. I knew GOD was choosing a different path for Isaac. There came a point when I just poured my heart out to GOD asking Him to make Isaac like He wanted Him to be.From then on I couldnt pray everyday for GOD to make him better.Some would call that unbelief, but for me in was completely trusting in GOD. I knew this was the path GOD chose for our family to go down and if I tried to pray for something different ,everyday, then that was not trusting in GOD completely. I started resting in the moment and not fighting against GOD or the situation.I gave my children to GOD a long time ago. He knows better than I do with what needs to happen in our lives.
Yesterday during Isaacs testing we saw a little boy that had small patches of hair here and there and an iv in his arm with an ace bandage wrapped around it. I assume he had some kind of cancer. He looked to be Isaacs age.It made me so thankful that I have healthy children.I cant imagine watching my children suffer through that kind of sickness.I thought of that mom and all the other moms who have sick children. To me those moms are warriors. And I will remember to pray for them.
The last couple of days ive really been thinking about when Jesus said we should have faith like a child. Our children completely trust us with everything. They dont know anything different.Thats all they can do is trust us.Do we trust GOD like that? That was my prayer last night.That I would have faith like a child.We are responsible for their well-being and to train them in the way they should go. God knows the path He has for them. And its our job to help direct them there.Thanks be to GOD for my children and for choosing me to be one of HIS children.He is our Creator our LORD our Savior and our Father.

Our Family Lately

Thought i would give everyone and update on our family lately.

Chris worked many long hours when the tornado's came through but we were able to go on a week long vacation. It was very relaxing and we definitely needed it.The boys didn't get to see Chris very much for 2 weeks and we were missing him very much.

I love being at home with the boys. I was so thankful when vacation came along because i needed a change of scenery.And I'm so glad summer is here.Me and the boys will be doing alot of swimming and playing outside.

Ezra is so full of joy. He is going to be one of those people that are funny without really trying to be. Pawpaw asked him how he slept and he said" with my eyes shutted". and he was dead serious! Now he knows its a joke and wants to tell everyone. He saw me in my underwear this morning and said " thats a boobie trap" lol thats what squiddy says (on a team umi zoomi cartoon for those of you wondering what I've been letting him watch). He comes up with stuff all the time He tells people that they are freaking him out! ( that one came from veggietales believe it or not). You have to monitor what you watch and listen to because he picks up on everything. Even if hes not watching television he is listening . His name means "helper" and he really lives up to that. He likes to help do laundry.Yesterday i was mowing and he helped move stuff out of the way and he pushed his little mower behind me. It was so cute. And hes been wiping Isaac's runny nose all morning!He will go get diapers for me and put stuff away in the pantry.He is so independent.He wants to learn how to do things by himself. He started wiping his own hiney after going to the bath room.He doesn't want me doing it anymore and i think thats awesome!! one less hiney i have to wipe! Hes been having a 3 year old attitude.Were trying to break him from this and also teach him manners. Long ago we started having him say ma'am and sir, please and thank you. Now I'm trying to teach him to hold doors open especially for ladies and how to ask nicely for something instead of just telling you.This morning he said "please mom can you get me some more milk" i said yes i can and he said " see that was manners and when you don't use manners that's not good".So all my teaching does pay off! He such a good little man and i want to teach him to love GOD and people.And to respect others.

Isaac is doing great. He has improved so much over the last couple of months.He has always had problems chewing and swallowing.So he was still eating mostly baby food up until a couple of weeks ago and he just wouldn't eat it anymore. He wants to eat what we are eating. Theres still stuff he cant have but hes pretty much eating what we do. He actually ate a whole hamburger patty the other day. That's a big thing for him because he used to get choked alot. He is walking a little on his own. He takes about 5 steps and lowers himself down. He can stand without holding onto anything.

He is the most lovable little boy. He loves to hug and give kisses and cuddle. He will test us but after a couple of spankings he gives up.His daddy can hurt his feelings faster than anyone. He still gets frustrated easily because he still cannot communicate with us well enough for us to know what he wants. We just have to guess or give him choices and then he will pick what he wants.We've been doing a little sign language hoping he will pick up on it but so far he hasn't done very well with it.He doesn't want to take naps anymore and screams if i lay him down.But when he doesn't take a nap he sleeps through the night! Last night he slept from a little after 8 till 6:45 and never woke up. That's the best sleep i have got since before Ezra was born (3 years)!!!
We had his neurology app.  a couple of weeks ago. It went  pretty well. He ruled out cerebral palsy.That had always been in the back of my mind so that was a huge relief. He said that whatever it was it wasn't going to get worse since he is improving. He thought it could either be muscles or brain.If its the brain he seemed to think that it would probably show that his cerebrum is not fully developed. He has his MRI the 16th of this month. The doc said we may or may not get any answers.God gave me peace about it a long time ago and i can honestly say I don't worry about it. Whatever it is God allowed him to go through all of this.I wished we could get some answers but even if we don't we will just keep trusting GOD. That's all I know to do.He is in control.

Mommy!!

Maybe all you moms will understand this blog.
Of course as many of you know Im a stay at home mom and I take pride in that. I wouldnt trade this job for any other in the world. But sometimes I need a break from my boys for some alone time and adult conversation.This week I got two breaks.One was the gynocologist and the other the dentist.
I knew I was in need of some alone time when going to the "gyno" seemed like a vacation.Going to that kind of doctor is not something on the fun list but it was a break..And I hate waiting out in the waiting room, cause if you know me well' I hate breathing other peoples air. Especially in a doctors office.I dont admit that to most people because I know you think its strange.And it is.I dont always worry about it in public but theres just certain places I would wear a mask into.(walmart being one of them) I need to put that on my grocery list.Maybe they will let me wear it before i pay for it.MMM...
The other break was the dentist.You know your sleep  deprived when you almost fall asleep in the dentist chair. I was actually relaxed , yawning and heavy eyed.lol  I hate trying to swallow when the dentist has his fingers in my mouth. Its very strange. I was there for 2 hours this morning and I didnt mind it at all. It was quite.
And sometimes I need quite. I love the sound of laughter from the boys and I enjoy  Ezra asking question over and over again. I love to hear Isaac babel and dont mind the crying sometimes. The sound of toys and television are fine. All these are signs of two wonderful lives that GOD has chosen to loan to me while here on earth. I need quite time and yes, sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying but theres nothing like being a stay at home mom.I have alot to learn and I have alot more to teach my boys. And for that I am grateful.

No words

We got into the bathtub that morning. I was holding the boys as the played with our cell phones. Chris stood over us and we waited.I could hear loud noises and I began to pray. I prayed that GOD would protect our family and our home. He did.We looked out and only saw trees down.I have never been so thankful. We hugged Chris as he left for work not knowing how long we would go without seeing him.My brother in law came to get me and the boys. There were worse storms coming later and Chris didn't want us being there by ourselves. Later than evening we once again took cover as the EF4 tornado was headed for Rainsville.It hit a couple of miles up the road. Once again GOD chose to spare us.But that wasn't true for my brother in laws family and many others.We got the call that his brothers house was gone.They found him and his children in the field behind the house.Only his son had survived.As I sat there with my sister and niece as they were grieving my heart broke for them and others that had lost family.I had no idea how widespread and destructive the tornado was.Four days later we sat in church and worshipped our MAKER.We wore our work clothes so we could go out and help salvage anything we could for these families that lost everything. We worked at what used to be a home to a family of 5. They survived while many of their neighbors did not.There was little left.Then we walked the fields at my brother in laws family home.Nothing but a concrete slab.We only found a few pictures.So many lives lost and homes destroyed. And here I was only without power and a few trees down.Ive seen a community come together to help out however they could. Wonderful friends from our faith family came to cut the trees in our yard. Not because it was a pressing issue but because they wanted to take the burden off Chris who has worked 16 hour days since.They will never know what their act of kindness meant to us

Friends watched my boys soI could go out and work.I will forever be grateful because that allowed me to be a servant of Jesus to the people around us.Others offered their showers and beds while we were without power Hundreds were helping feed the hungry and tired,gathering items for the needy and sorting through debri to salvage what they could for these families..I have nothing to complain about.I am only grateful to our amazing and gracious GOD for protecting our family.I realize it could have been us or our families who lost their lives.They buried my brother in laws brother and niece this week.While his nephew still fights for his life. And gets a little better each day.Pray for Bryce. He is 10 years old.And pray for this family and other who lost loved ones as they grieve. I will never forget this historic and tragic day.There are no words for those that lost so much.The LORD gives and the LORD takes away.We will never understand all of this.But GOD does have a greater purpose.We have to believe that. The world will fade away but my GOD lives forever and He will never fail us.

Temporal or Eternal

I forget how fast life can pass you by.Why do we worry more about monetary things than relationships?How can we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget about others around us and around the world?.I've been thinking alot today about my childhood friendships and I've lost touch with alot of those people and they only live a few minutes down the road from me! i can make the excuse that I'm busy with Chris and the boys but shouldn't I really take time out of my schedule to spend time with others.And not just my regular friends and family i see on a normal basis.That's one of the things i love about the Hawaiian culture. They care more about relationships than having a great job and making alot of money.They make time for their family and friends.When we visited Molokai the church and another family made all different kinds of food for us. Those people sacrificed something to make us that meal. Most of them really couldn't afford to do that. But that was their way of showing love and gratitude.Why have we lost sight of that? They don't rush to get somewhere, they don't worry about time they just make time for others.We get up go to work and work our life away and why?Just to have stuff. Think about how ridiculous that sounds. We work just so we can spend it.What if we worked to help others? What if we went without less stuff and gave more of God's money to help someone else? Our Pastor said something that caught my attention this morning.We need to examine ourselves and see how were spending our time.Is it on temporal things or are we spending time making a difference eternally.This world will not be here one day.But there are people who need our love and need us to show them God's love.That is what really matters.So maybe you can do as I am today.Examining myself to see if I am making a difference in other peoples lives.God has really been working on me this week. And I'm starting to see how selfish I have been.I guess I'm just realizing I don't really want the life I thought I did before.The "American Dream".

Venting for a bit

As a stay at home mom i feel like people are watching every move i make. Maybe waiting for me to fail or wondering why i do what i do. i don't know.Some days i feel like I've done a great job with the boys, other days i feel like a failure.i really don't want to admit it but here it goes. its been a little tough this past year.Isaac has needed a good bit of help.and i have gotten really frustrated at times. Isaac still cant communicate with us.He cant tell you what he wants, he cant even point and grunt at what he wants.some times i know what he wants other times i just have to throw my hands up.Its hard watching your child cry and you cant even figure out what it is he wants.Alot of nights (here lately in particular)he wakes up screaming and i have know idea what to do.But Isaac has come a long way and I know he will get there its just going to take time. God has brought us down this path for a reason and i wouldn't change it for anything.even on the hard days. This past year has taught me more patience. But sometimes I get tired of being patient.I just want to get to where we want to be. But then I remember its not about me or even my family. Its about GOD and bringing glory to HIS name. This post may not do that but I'm just being honest about where I am today.I do want what GOD has in store for us. Because I know its best.And "GOD's BEST" doesn't mean everything wonderful. A friend of mine says that "God's best for JESUS was dying on  a cross."I'll take what GOD desires for me to have and try to bring glory to HIS name. I haven't always done this and I'm sure  Iwill fail at it in the future.But as Christians it is our job.I'm gonna close this post with a paragraph from the book Radical.  "He created human beings, not only to enjoy his grace in a relationship with Him, but also to extend HIS glory to the ends of the earth.Enjoy HIS grace and extend HIS glory.This is the twofold purpose behind the creation of the human race.

MONEY and SUCCESS

Dave Ramsey said "Your priorities, passions, goals and fears are shown clearly in the flow of your money".Our society has measured our success by how much money we make and how many material things we own.As a stay at home mom i guess I'm considered poor! But that's not my  point.This line comes from a favorite song of mine "maybe our success is measured best by nothing less than our obedience"How different would our lives be if that was our way of thinking.I want to teach my children that they have to work hard for their money but its God's money, on loan for us to use for HIS kingdom.We need to seek God's wisdom in how we spend our money.God doesn't care about money or possessions.He cares about people.Philippians 2:5 says "Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus".So if Jesus loved people more than money, don't you think we should have that same attitude.Many of you will look at that statement and think its absurd to love money more than people,but look at your priorities, passions, goals and fears and see which category you fall in.What is it that you are wanting to do today tomorrow and the rest of the time we have here on earth.Is it about you and your "success' or is it about others.

He's still working on me.

As I was holding my sleeping son in my arms, his older  brother was sitting with us.We saw this beautiful baby on television.I said "Ezra what if we had another little baby" he replied "yea just like Isaac". I smiled remembering the road we have traveled in the past year. Isaac has faced some storms and ripples in his little life.And if GOD allows us to have another baby,and that baby is not perfectly healthy, thats ok with me. Because it will be the baby GOD has chosen for us, and that makes it perfect.GOD has taught me many things through my children.Mainly patience and leaning on HIM,  because HE is my strength.When Ezra was born I was filled with fear and anxiety.I can remember praying for GOD to let him live through the night.Ezra was a perfectly healthy baby.But none the less it consumed me. I quickly learned I couldnt live that way.I told GOD that Ezra was HIS first, then mine. Nine months later I became pregnant with Isaac. I felt GOD working in my life.GOD was telling me(not in an audible voice just a knowing)that Isaac wasnt going to be completely perfect.Fear and anxiety did not follow.  But peace.The day Isaac failed his first hearing tests I knew then. They kept telling me it wasnt abnormal to fail the test.I was alone in the hospital room that morning.I sat and cried for my little baby knowing he might face some difficulties in his life. After a few more tests over a period of a few weeks, we found it was a mild hearing loss. We praised GOD it wasnt severe.Then at Isaacs 6 month check up the doctor sent us to a physical therapist. The basic simple things Isaac couldnt yet manage to do.He is "hypotonic" they said. To make a long story short Isaac had to work very hard to do things normal babies can do in a short time. After 3 months of therapy Isaac started crawling.Now he is working hard to pull up and walk. My sister in law told me that Isaacs journey reminds her of the song "He's still working on me."Everyday he does something that reminds me GOD is still working on him.
GOD is still working on me spiritually.I am not a "perfectly healthy child"either. I get angry, frustrated,  and impatient.I fail GOD everyday in some way.But GOD in HIS mercy and grace is still working on me.It amazes me that HE hasnt given up on me.God loves me and still wants me to be HIS child even though I am not perfect.God doesnt work on perfect people.He works on those who are willing to learn and change. Just as Isaac has to take  time to learn to walk and talk to be better physically, I have to take time to walk with GOD and talk to HIM daily to be spiritually healthy.